Caregiving Is a Family Affair

In this episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz is talking about something that many families face but do not always know how to handle: caregiving as a family affair.

When an aging parent, loved one, or family member needs care, one person often becomes the main caregiver while everyone else steps back, scatters, or assumes that person has it all under control. But caregiving should not fall on one person without a plan, support, or honest family conversations.

Roz breaks down how families can reduce the chaos in caregiving by understanding where tension comes from, setting realistic expectations, creating a care plan, assigning roles, and being honest about what each person can and cannot do. She also reminds listeners that every family member may not be able or willing to provide hands-on care, and that is why outside resources, respite care, and hired support may need to become part of the plan.

This episode is a practical reminder that caregiving requires communication, boundaries, preparation, and teamwork. Whether you live close by or long distance, there is usually some way to support the person providing daily care.

Caregiving may be a family affair, but it works best when the family has a plan.

Thank you for listening. If this episode encouraged you, supported you, or gave you something to think about as a caregiver, be sure to stay connected with Roz Jones.

Visit Roz online for caregiver resources, blogs, books, speaking information, and support for families navigating the caregiving journey.

Website: www.rozjonesent.com

Read the Caregiver Cafe Blog: https://thecaregivercafe.net/

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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDFP2FF5QBbjVyaphhh3zdA/videos?view=0&sort=p

You can also subscribe, rate, and share this episode with another caregiver who may need encouragement today.

Because caregiving is not meant to be carried alone.

Transcript

Intro 0:02

 Hey, guys. How you doing today? Can I get you started with something to drink? Is your aging loved one home alone, forgetting to take medicine or pay bills? The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones has a menu of resources to serve your caregiver needs. As a caregiver, Roz understands your daily challenges. This podcast focuses on the unique and dynamic issues of caregiving.

Roz Jones 4:42

 Hi, my name is Roz Jones. I am the CEO and owner of Jacksonville's Best Caregivers, where we help expand, uh, the life of your loved one. Why do I do it? I do it to help the caregiver to reduce that SOS on their journey. And when you can't do it all, you give us a call. Today, we come to you with our next episode of the Caregiver Cafe. So what's roasting on my mind today? What is roasting on my mind? So today we are talking about caregiving is a family affair. Caregiving is a family affair. Oftentimes, you know, caring for a aging parent can get complicated, particularly when you have siblings and you guys need to work together. You know, there's a lot of times emotions are involved, there's con- you know, family conflicts, but what can you do? What can you do if you are going to be the main caregiver? What are you going to do to make sure that we reduce the chaos in caregiving? So, you know, what are we gonna re- to do to reduce the chaos in caregiving? So let's talk about, number one, what cau- what is causing some of the tension. What is causing some of the tension when it comes to taking care of an aging, uh, parent, aging uncle, or even a friend? You know, what is some of the tensions that go on? But we're particularly talking about the family. So let's understand the tension. You know, um, you know, are there un- some unresolved issues? Is there a s- issue regarding long distance? Uh, is there a issue with some people just aren't good caregivers? And so there's other ways that you can get them to help. So let's get those unresolved issues, those tension. Now, let's talk about the next thing is balancing caregiving responsibilities when one person is doing all the work. A lot of times when one sibling takes on the caregiving, then everybody else scatters. I see this happen all the time. I see this happen all the time, even if you live in town. So say for instance, let's, uh, share the responsibilities. Some, you know, one person may be living out of town. Okay, if you're living out of town, can you come in maybe once or twice a year and give me a week off? Just give me some time off. If I'm gonna be the primary, if someone is designated as a primary, you know, can you give me some time off so that I, you know, will not burn out? So that's important. Even though you are a long distance sibling, you still can help either by coming in, or you can even hire someone to come in and to take care of your mother and father and give that brother or sister or cousin or whoever you know, a rest, you know? So that is so important. That is so important that you will be able, um, you know, to have that help. And then for the sibling that's in town, that person can do some cooking or running some errands so that everything is not on you. Pick up medicine, um, maybe come over one day and clean, or in between, um, you know, having the respite care, they could maybe come in once a week and give you a day off. So, you know, those are some of the things that you can, you know, do when it comes to being a family affair, when it's time to help that caregiver. These are some of the things that you all can implement as a family. Now Let me say this. Everyone is not gonna wanna help with caregiving. And so if that does happen, then it's time to look for outside resources. It's time to look for outside resources. So once again, if... As I said, this is a family affair, and when you are working with brothers and sisters, or even stepbrothers and sisters, these are some of the things that you all need to sit down as a group and say, "Hey, let's make a calendar. Let's make a, a plan of care to see how we can spread this out so it's not all on one person." And also, too, I, I say this all the time. If you feel like you cannot take care of this person, it's okay to say no. You know, set realistic expectations. Understand that, you know, you, um, uh... Understand what you can and cannot do. What you can do, unders- say, "This is what I can do within this seven days a week, you know, two, three days a week, and what I cannot meet, we're gonna either have to hire someone or we're gonna have to figure something else out in order to make sure that your needs are met." So these are some of the things that you have to sit down with brothers and sisters. We have to understand, uh, we have to have designated roles. We have to have designated roles. Let me say that again. We have to have designated roles for everybody so no one is crossing over, no one is bumping in, you know, to the other person. So we wanna make sure that we wanna make sure about unresolved issues, we wanna make sure that we have a care plan. "Okay, I can do this, but I can't do that, and so I need help either from my brothers and sisters or we will have to outsource some of this and get and hire a caregiver." And then finally, too, you know, understand the fact that, you know, I need to say no, and also, too, you know, if you can't do it, understand the limits in care. That's another thing I forgot to say. Understand the limits in care, what you are and are not able to do. So I just wanted to bring some of those things up and make sure that you understand that caregiving is a family affair, but not all family members are a part of that caregiving plan. And so please don't have animosity towards your brother and sister if they say, "I can't do it" I'd rather for them to be honest than to take on the caregiving role and for them to be bitter about it and, uh, you know, make it uncomfortable, not only for the main caregiver, but also for the person receiving care. Because let me tell you something, if you're taking care of someone and you are not happy about it, it does reflect in how the type of care that you give to the person that you are taking care of. So once again, make sure that you establish boundaries. Make sure you establish, uh, roles and responsibilities. Make sure that you have a care plan at least three to six months out of the year so you know what's going on. And constantly, constantly sit down and keep people up to date. There are apps out there where you can keep up with one another. T- wonderful technology that will help you keep up with that, and we'll talk about that another time. But today I just wanted to talk about caregiving is a family affair. Once again, my name is Roz Jones. I am the proud, proud producer of the Carevi- Caregiver Cafe podcast. If there is something roasting on your mind and you want us to address it or you want a particular guest, please in the comment section or even email us and let us know.

Roz Jones 4:52 Outro 7:57

Until your next visit to the Caregiver Cafe, connect with Roz on YouTube, LinkedIn, and her blog at the CaregiverCafe.net. Caregiver Cafe Podcast specializes in serving those who provide care and support to a sick or a lovely one. I'm the voice cafe. I'm one of you. So with Raz has an expert in front of my experience, I'm listening. We hope you've enjoyed the show. In the meantime, don't forget to connect with Ross on YouTube, LinkedIn, or at the blog at the caregivercafe.net